Hands up, all those who wished they were born in a different family…
While on a vocabulary course, the compeer referenced the following two intriguing but quotable opinions relating to family ties. The first reads: “In our lives, the only thing we really own is our family—treasure it for the treasure it truly is.” “In our lives,” the second states, “we get to choose everything except our family—we’re stuck with them!”
I am wondering Sheyi Emmanuel Adebayor’s likely thoughts on these two quotes.
For those who may not be aware, Adebayor has written a rather lengthy post on his Facebook page. It makes grim reading. I have repeated the message below. You may skip it if you have already read it; I offer my thoughts below.
EMMANUEL ADEBAYOR’S 877-WORD FACEBOOK STATEMENT
His full statement reads: ‘SEA, I have kept these stories for a long time but I think today it is worth sharing some of them with you. It’s true that family matters should be solved internally and not in public but I am doing this so that hopefully all families can learn from what happened in mine. Also keep in mind that none of this is about money.
‘At the age of 17, with my first wages as a footballer, I built a house for my family and made sure they are safe. As you all know, I have received the trophy of African Player of the Year in 2008. I also brought my mother on stage with me to thank her for everything. In that same year, I brought her to London for various medical check ups.
‘When my daughter was born, we contacted my mum to inform her but she immediately hung up the phone and didn’t wanna know hear about it. Reading your recent comments, some people said my family and I should consult T.B Joshua. In 2013, I gave my mother money so she could consult him in Nigeria. She was supposed to stay for 1 week; but 2 days into her stay, I received a call saying she left.
‘Apart from all that l also gave my mother a great amount of money to start a business of cookies and different items. Naturally, I allowed them to put my name and picture on them so they can sell more. What else can a son do in his power to support his family?
‘A couple years ago, I bought a house in East Lagon (Ghana) for $1.2 million. I found it normal to let my older sister, Yabo Adebayor stay in that house. I also allowed my half brother (Daniel) to stay in the same house. A few months later, I was on vacation and decided to go to that house. At my surprise, I saw many cars in the driveway. In fact, my sister decided to rent out the house without me knowing. She also kicked Daniel out of that house.
‘Note that the house had about 15 rooms. When I called her and asked for explanation, she took about 30 minutes to abuse and insult me over the phone. I called my mother to explain the situation and she did the same as my sister. This same sister says I am ungrateful. Ask her about the car she is driving or anything she is selling today?
‘My brother Kola Adebayor, has now been in Germany for 25 years. He travelled back home about 4 times, at my expense. I fully cover the cost of his children’s education. When I was in Monaco, he came to me and asked for money to start a business. Only God knows how much I gave him. Where is that business today?
‘When our brother Peter passed away, I sent Kola a great amount of money so he could fly back home. He never showed up at the burial. And today that same brother (Kola) is telling people that I am involved in Peter’s death. How? He is the same brother who went and told inaccurate stories about our family to The Sun in other to take some money. They also sent a letter to my Club when I was in Madrid so I could get fired.
‘When I was in Monaco I thought it would be good to have a family of footballers. So I made sure my brother Rotimi gets into a football academy in France. Within a few months; out of 27 players, he stole 21 phones.
‘I would not say any anything about my brother Peter Adebayor because he is not here today. May his soul rest in peace.
‘My sister Lucia Adebayor keeps telling people that my dad told me to bring her to Europe. But what would be the purpose to bring her to Europe ? Everyone is here for a reason.
‘I was in Ghana when I received the news about my brother Peter being seriously ill. I drove the fastest I could to Togo in order to meet him and help. When I arrived, my mother said I could not see him and I should just give the money and she would solve everything. Only God knows how much I gave her that day. People are saying I didn’t do anything to save my brother, Peter. Am I a fool to drive 2 hours to Togo for nothing?
‘I organised a meeting in 2005 to solve our family issues. When I asked them about their opinion, they said I should build each family member a house and give each of them a monthly wage.
‘Today I am still alive and they have already shared all my goods, just in case I die.
‘For all these reasons, it took very long for me to set up my foundation in Africa. Every time I try to help the people in need, they had to question me and all of them thought it was a bad idea.
‘If I am writing this, the main purpose is not to expose my family members. I just want other African families to learn from this. Thank you.’
Are We Our Own Enemies?
The harrowing tales of what African family members can do to their own are well rehearsed. One does not need to be a grizzled fellow to be familiar with such mind-boggling and spine-tingling tales.
I will not be surprised if there are many in the diaspora who are simply, in a trite manner: “TIRED”. And right here, the literal translation of the preceding statement is quite obvious. The vernacular expression used to ventilate such thoughts would surely be a quotidian recollection. Is that why some no longer pick their calls?
I need not offer much commentary on this issue. I am simply posing the question for a sensible debate on the subject.
In all sincerity, our extended family model, if well nurtured, cultivated, and practised could be far better than the system in the West. Nonetheless, it has and continues to prove our lasting bane.
Another piece will afford me the superb opportunity to discuss the matter in detail. However, I would appreciate your feedback on this pressing matter.
Returning to the two earlier quotes, I can confidently agree that, “In our lives, the only thing we really own is our family—treasure it for the treasure it truly is.” This has been and will always remain my firm belief. Now, what is yours?
I shall return with my talking drums!
Angelina K. Morrison is interested in national development, true religion, and self-improvement. She enjoys thinking, and writes stories only when the muse grips her. Her first short story, Gravellatina is a breathtaking five-part gripping series available now at Amazon . You can email her at email@example.com , or find her at www.angelinakmorrison.wordpress.com or Facebook page .